˜~~~~T~~~~™
On a quest and quite anxious, I embark upon the search of a sense or a ‘no’ sense.
The pathways are multiple; the truths also. But ‘the truth’ is only one, in its multiple manifestations and expressions.
Truth in the present! But how could one embody it without drowning in the past or refuting the future? How could one acquire this spark of truth, of beauty and, with no imprisonment, be able to transmit it?
The white canvas is like a womb giving birth to all possibilities, awaiting colors that would nurture us, warm us and leave us with our nudity-vulnerability in front of the abundance of this universe.
Why don't we completely merge with this abundance?
I hold out my hands, select a color and abandon myself into meditation, which in a frantic dance unites my body, my soul and my spirit.
One in the present, harmonious notes lift me up towards Truth and Beauty.
˜~~~~T~~~~™ |
Colors of the quest: A peek into my life.
 My quest for colors has been long and takes me back into my childhood. As a ten year old, I couldn't understand the world. I was surrounded by pain. Often, I used to ask myself questions and tried to find answers through the only way I knew: ‘writing’. Black and white forms emerged and the answers were kind of poems, asking God ‘Why am I here? Why all this pain? What was the purpose of my existence on earth?’ I had a lot of questions but no answers. God was very silent at the time and my life seemed to revolve in black and white. When I was twelve, one day my school teacher asked the class to paint something, whereby I painted a stormy sea, somewhat resembling a background. I approached the art teacher and she soon painted a boat hopelessly lost in this storm. My painting was quite symbolic of me, with all my questions and doubts, with the only difference that this time it was a high-colored approach, a different state of mind.
Meanwhile, I tried to explore and discover answers to my puzzles through the philosophical works of Camus, Sartre, Hegel, and Plato… I had a lot of answers but not ‘the’ answer.
At twenty, I had to spend most of the summer at home in consequence of the Lebanese War. It was then that I decided I could create a new world for myself, free from the air of death and horror lingering around me, through the assistance of colors on white paper. My attempt to paint was nearly successful, but I felt an intense urge to study the techniques of drawing and painting. After embark ing upon a search for a private teacher in arts, I came across a painter, who had as his wife another painter. I studied painting with him and sat for one portrait of his wife. It was truly a great experience for me, as I was observer and observed at the same time.
Later on, I attended the Lebanese University in order to study fine arts for a brief period. At that time I was publishing poems in cultural magazines and a publisher asked me to write an article on the history of art. Life as a working woman started at that moment in a publishing house, where I was editing, coordinating and translating for several of their magazines, and shortly became the editorial assistant. I freelanced as a social reporter, art and literary critic in the cultural supplement of An-Nahar newspaper in parallel to my work in the publishing house, and I thus became a workaholic.
In 1992, my activities were broadened to include social work as well, and additionally becoming the editor-in-chief of "Terre des Hommes" bulletin. Right afterwards, I came across a magazine that specialized in fine arts and architecture and assumed the position of editor-in-chief. A few years later, I directed a culinary magazine and animated a TV program, working as a press consultant for many cultural groups simultaneously.
It was only in 1997 that I paused to take a deep breath, and asked myself: ‘who am I in all this?’ It was then that I left all my work and embarked upon an intensive spiritual journey. In 1999, I realized that there are other dimensions in life and became a spiritual healer after studying Magnetism, Reiki, Cellular Healing, and Reflexology in between my trips to Lebanon and Canada.
In the year 2001 a major deception changed my life. Thus, I decided to transmute my pain into beauty and prepared a collection of jewels from loams with the assistance of a friend of mine. At the same time, I was painting in order to transmute my anger into peace and harmony while trying to find my own style, my own language and symbols to recount the world, and the new truth discovered in my quest within the ancient and mystical order rosae crusis.
In early 2003, I selected a hue of yellow and chose to create a whole painting with it. This occurred after a deep meditation where "parallel planes" emerged in front of me. After this painting I worked a lot and couldn't sleep due to wandering in between dimensions of existence, discovering and searching the new reality.
In 2003, I participated in the collective exhibition of Beirut’s Sursock museum and held a private exhibition at Agial Art Gallery in 2004. It was only then that my works came into view in the world of art and found great appreciation and a hearty welcome
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